Music Video Draft 2:

Youtube link : http://youtu.be/C0tvwMPqiBA

From my first draft you can see significant changes. Although the first part of my sequence is the same i have adapted the middle and the end. I had blank spaces in my first draft which i have inputted media for my second draft.

As i have got feedback for my first draft there were areas that i need to develop:

• The editing needs a little more work in my opening scene where the female appears on the Tyre swing, as it is a little jumpy and needs to be more smoother for the fade in/appearing effect that i am trying to create.
• The play fight scene in the bedroom is a little long so try variation or cross cuts. 
• I love the sequence in the woods with the cross over fade & the female walking around very fast in the background - very effective. 
• Why do they argue? It is not made clear. Does he cheat on her? Is that what leads her to slit her wrists? This part of the narrative needs to be made more clear. 
• Your footage rewinds, is this to demonstrate he wishes he acted differently? Or does it show she does not die as we see them in bed again? Please make this more clear. 
• Need to fill in the blank spaces with footage. 

From this feedback i have been able to adapt or add new footage to my video:

• I have adapted my opening sequence in attempt to make the editing more smoother for the effect i want to create. 
• I have added variation to the play fight by adding other footage to make it seem more playful and couple-like, so it isn't as long. 
• Why do they argue? To develop the narrative so my audience understands i have inputted new footage to explain why the couple argues. For this i have added the clock sequence cross over the female waiting impatiently as the male is late for a romantic dinner. Due to her frustrations that he is late she gets angry and sees her romantic meal as a wasted attempt and starts to mess up the table by throwing the plates at the wall. This then leads into my original footage of the couple arguing. As he leaves in a fury she is left to drown her sorrows in alcohol as she always messes everything up.
• The footage rewinds to demonstrate he is rethinking the argument and it clicks that she is self harming - this leads into the footage of the male running back to the house to find the girl has self harmed again in the bath tub. He feels responsible. And the footage rewinds as you see the couple happy, then the fight and it is left that the relationship has ended.
• I have filled in the blank spaces with footage. 

Any further developments:

I still have to twink further with editing on some parts of my footage, to make the edits smoother but i am very pleased with how my video has turned out.